Day Four: The Fast.

Friend and colleague Chris Mason, who fasted with me, sips from his water bottle while everyone else enjoys lunch. Photo by Christopher Greenslate.

When I was a 17, I decided that I would start fasting on Thanksgiving. I did this out of a recognition that the holiday which most Americans celebrate as a day to be “thankful”, was also a day when the practice was anything but. A day of gorging on food until the point of bursting, in the name of togetherness with the native Americans that my ancestors worked keenly to subdue and control, was not something that I felt comfortable with. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was practicing a form of self-sacrifice in order to purify myself from this pious platitude.

I did this for several years up until recently, and the effect each year was that I actually did feel more thankful for what I had, and even had some naive sense of solidarity with those who were stolen from and murdered when this country was “born.” My family did not necessarily understand, or care, why I didn’t partake in the mashed potatoes. It was just another one of those “weird” things that I was doing.

Today’s fast was different. Today I fasted as a way to continue experimenting with the practices of Gandhi in order to deepen my experience in studying him here at the Ahimsa Center.

While Gandhi’s mother practiced this during the four month holy period for Hindus known as Chaturmas, Gandhi did it to purify himself, and ultimately to send a message that something needed to be done. Whatever it was, once Gandhi had become a fixture in the hearts of people in India, they would make the changes he requested in order to keep him alive. In trying to reconcile Hindu and Muslim relations in India he comments in his autobiography that, “Nothing evidently which I say or write can bring the two communities together.” If other forms of making change proved inadequate, Gandhi would fast.

I haven’t eaten since last night, and so far I feel pretty good. Focusing on my work made time move faster, and I think that I will go to bed early in order to avoid getting the munchies later tonight.

In addition, my colleague Chris decided to fast with me today. We sat together at lunch amidst the chewing and slurping, and I must admit that the food smelled delicious. Chris commented to me that he was tempted by the grapes, and when he went to fill up his water bottle near the fruit tray he almost ate one without thinking. We chatted about how this exercise in self-restraint is a good reminder that we have control over our impulses, our actions and ultimately our consciousness.

Looking forward to breakfast (which is actually when I will “break” my “fast”)…and thinking of re-committing to a fast this coming Thanksgiving…

- Christopher